Wow, even a year ago I said I didn’t have as much of an opportunity to write—now that has become even more apparent. How I loved to write, though! The truth is that I have been keeping accurate accounts of what has happened in our lives and in the ministry in my personal journal. I look at my entries in the beginning and they are full of so many ideas or zeal. Today, even though Troy and I share so many of the same ideas, we have gained experience for the practical application of it. So many ideas are simply theories and we see so many people in the body who simply cannot relate to other people. The cost of this journey has been enormous. It is not for the faint of heart. Even as I sit here I am thinking about how we are paying for utilities and rent for three different buildings in addition to our own expenses. We have not received a paycheck for over three years, we’ve had to trust God completely! This journey has really opened my eyes to how difficult that is sometimes because we put the face of man, on God and in the past, I really never met anyone I could fully trust. I’ve had to love even when it seems impossible. We’ve lost friends and endured rumors. Yet I see what He’s doing in people around us and what He’s doing in me…….I wouldn’t change a thing. I am humbly holding onto Jesus. He is truly the air I breathe, without Him I am gasping. I am starved for His word. I am not just seeking Him, I need Him to live.
A Few Thoughts
One Proud Mama
My oldest daughter, Teagan has entered three pieces of her artwork in a local arts and crafts show. Last week I took her pieces to be professionally matted for the show. Well, today the woman called to say they were finished but she also made an offer to purchase one of the pieces! I called Troy immediately—we’re so proud of her! Our little girl is growing up so fast.
Love Hopes The Best
During the fall of 2008, R.P.M was given a house and we began a discipleship program. Currently, we have six men in the program ranging in ages from 20 to 45. Their pasts are varied and the majority of them have served jail time. Today I learned that one of the most gentle guys in the house served 20 years because of attempted murder. So many times we see the pain of regret in their faces and I have to admit, my heart hurts with them. The decisions that they made in their youth still haunts them today. Getting a job is obviously difficult. So many of them really want to change and through Christ are changing, but the world just wants to keep them down. I spoke with a young man in a business two weeks ago, who claims that although he appreciates what the ministry is trying to do, he believes that no one ever really changes.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. I guess that I’m beginning to see life through the eyes of others. What if all of us got what we deserved? I am so unworthy of Christ’s love and yet He loves me anyways. The truth is that I have seen hearts change, walls come down and self-esteem restored. When I think of the people we care for, I have a tendency to think of what I like about them the most. Isn’t that how we think of our own children? My children certainly do things that are wrong and I’m not oblivious to it. However, when I think of them, I think of the things that make me smile. So even though I’m certainly not naive, because we are dealing with people with a criminal past…….I can still see their unique talents and strengths.
Love simply hopes the best. Which is stronger. The one who hates or lashes out against those who are guilty of wrong doing or the one who loves in spite of it?
The Scooter
A good friend of ours sent this email. Ravi’s relationship with God so inspires both Troy and I. I hope you enjoy reading his story.
A night out with God
It was a night I will never forget!
I was on my way home on my Kinetic Honda after visiting my friend’s house late in the night. The air was cool; the road was narrow and stretching long. As usual my gearless scooter was puttering along the tar road. A while later I felt something wrong. I felt the scooter dragging. It felt like the tire was going flat and sure it was! My scooter tire was punctured. I got off my scooter and started pushing and I knew right there I had to push it all the way home in the dusty dark night.
It was a lonely road. There were no houses around. The place wore a deserted look. I knew I was very far away from my house. I could not imagine I had to push my vehicle now all the way home. I managed pushing it some distance but pretty soon I was feeling very tired. My muscles were aching. My body was sweating. I could not push any further. I knew I could easily let frustration mess my mind at this point as I had no other way except to keep pushing. But something within me said, “God is with you”. I was at peace. I felt God was with me in the dark, lonely and tiring road. I felt an inward peace though externally I was tired. I thanked the Lord for whatever purpose he was allowing this for. It was not going to be easy as I was going to discover soon.
Many times when we are alone, tired and suddenly find ourselves in a troubling situation we often tend to think it’s an attack from the evil one. We panic. We get scared. We start binding the evil in the name of Jesus. We easily give into the idea that every tough, hard situation is somehow orchestrated by the devil. But that is so far from the truth. God does allow situations in our life to prove his power on our behalf. That was what I was going to experience soon. I felt confident the Lord was watching over me despite the darkness around and the physical tiredness. I did not panic even though I did not have anyone around me to call for help. But deep down in my heart I knew my heavenly father had his eyes on me. Oh, what an assurance and joy it is know that even though we may find ourselves in the darkest moments and nobody around, the God who knows the stars by its names also knows us and he has said in the Holy Bible, “I have drawn you in the
palm of my hand”. We who are children of God are drawn in his palm. Think about it for a moment. God has you in his palm. Can you imagine getting lost in this world without God ever knowing about it? There is no place that is beyond God’s reach. He may not be physically visible to our naked eyes but he is there ever present to help us.
Over the years I have gone through so many experiences that overtime I have learnt to be at rest in Him. Just simply resting in the knowledge that God is my abba! He is my loving, heavenly daddy! I have experienced His pattern of working in my life. I have seen his mighty hand rescue me. I have seen his concern cover me. I have seen his goodness gather me. I have seen his faithfulness favoring me. I have seen his love lifting me.
Now, strengthened with my Lord’s presence I began to push my vehicle with greater confidence. It’s not easy pushing a vehicle when the tires are flat. It was exhausting as I kept pushing the scooter but I was thanking the Lord and kept talking to him. I was whispering to the Lord, “Lord, it’s ok, yes, I am tired, but it’s ok. You do what you want in this situation. Just give me some extra strength to keep moving”
And on I went with my dialogue in my head with the Lord. After pushing for a while I saw the road clearing into traffic and saw vehicles passing me but none stopped to help. Apparently God did not send anyone on the road to help me. It might sound weird, why God did not stop anyone on the road to help me? But you know, when God has his way, he often does things in different ways which is beyond our knowledge. He has a greater plan to accomplish and the temporary inconveniences work for a greater good. We can’t figure this out in our natural mind but only in our inner man we are given an assurance. That no matter what, troubling or trying, God the great Emmanuel, who is with us, does the best for us.
My inner strength surged along with a deep assurance and for a while I forgot my tiredness. I was joyously breaking into a song as sweat drifted off my face.
I sang, “No, never alone, no never alone, He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone.”
I finally pushed to a place where I saw a hotel apartment and my heart leapt in joy. Finally some place. I pushed my scooter towards the gate and asked the security guard if I could park for the night and pick it up next day. But he was rude and not cooperative. I kept calm. I did not react. I again requested him to see if I could speak to the manager. Hesitantly he agreed and got the manager out.
The young looking manager came towards me. He saw me helpless, tired and worn out. The sweat had my shirt stick to my body. I asked him if I could park my punctured scooter for the night. He looked at me and said, “Ok, you can park your vehicle for the night but you have to pick it up next morning.”
I felt God had prepared this manager to help me. I did not know why. I felt God was in this. I asked him his name and he said, Joseph.
With tears in my eyes I said, “Joseph, I am a man of God and I just want to tell you that the Lord is so pleased by your kindness and help. He will surely bless you.” He smiled.
After parking the scooter I started walking back home. I could not get any bus or any means of transportation and I kept walking. A few walks later, God intervened to stop a moving van and the driver offered to give me a ride home.
I got home and I was so bone tired I wanted to hit the bed. Deep down my heard I felt a great rest. I felt calm and a delight surround my soul. In the midst of a hassled night I was rest assured God had worked his plan. I dozed off to a peaceful sleep.
The next morning, I went to the hotel and picked up my vehicle. Before heading home I left behind a New Year greeting card with a message for the kind manager Joseph.
After the day’s ministry when I came back home I checked my emails and lo and behold I saw a mail pop up from Joseph, the manager who helped me park my vehicle.
Joseph wrote: “Pastor, you thought your scooter got punctured by accident. No, God had a plan. He brought you to me and that’s why you had to go through that hard experience in the night. I have been in deep pain and agony. I was in tears. I had nobody to share. I have been weeping and asking God for help. I was at the end of the road and the Lord saw my tears and sent you to me. Your coming was an answer to my prayers.”
Joseph went on express his problems and I prayed with him. The situation turned into a huge blessing for Joseph as I ministered to him through prayers. I was profoundly moved by this experience. It made me realize that my scooter incident was a huge plan in God’s mind. He had allowed it to help me minister to another child of his in problem.
The Lord saw that Joseph was in tough situation and needed help. He sent me there. Oh, what a privilege it is to be in the plan of God and to be used by him. Had I had called my other friends for help on the night of my scooter getting punctured I would have missed ministering to a child of God in a desperate need. Sometimes we have to go through hard situations for the Lord to accomplish his plan in our lives. Being in the work of God is not an easy thing. There is a price to pay. It is the way of the cross. Without a cross there is no crown. We should always be available to God for his use. His eyes are searching to and fro throughout the earth looking for people who are available for him to use.
There are many people who are in tears, broken, hurting and wounded in body and soul. We need to be the hands of God to reach out and touch them with the love of God.
By Ravi Kapoor
Spiritual Mothers and Fathers
During the summer of 2005, I was lying in bed in the early morning hours when suddenly I heard an angelic voice whisper sweetly into my ear the word, “mother.” I remember feeling a deep sense of the Father’s peace and love upon hearing it. I nestled deep into my pillow and fell into a deep sleep. Later that week, Troy had returned from hearing a gentleman talk about spiritual mothers and fathers, so naturally I thought perhaps that’s what God was referring to. Today I realize that I knew nothing about being a spiritual parent back then, but rather it was God, calling that which He had placed in me, into existence. How wonderful He is not to have pointed out my numerous faults, when He so easily could have. Instead, it was as if He was standing in my future and encouraging me to rise up into the position of spiritual motherhood.
There is so much that has happened that led Troy and I, to who we are today. By the way, we have a long way to go! First of all Troy and I were so blessed when God surrounded us with other believers who encouraged us, genuinely rejoiced with us and looked at us as co-laborers in the harvest, not competitors. We are blessed by a loving but unapologetically blunt spiritual mom. Two years ago, we were so blessed when God gave us eight people (some of them we barely knew), to lead, nurture and mentor. I learned that just because I had a title of a leader, it didn’t make me a leader and it definitely didn’t make me a spiritual parent. What I’ve noticed is although we are required to submit to the authority that God has placed over us, folks have a tendency to be drawn to the leaders that they know have their best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean looking for someone who agrees with you all the time. Personally, I’m looking for someone who loves me enough to let God have His perfect will in me, which means a spiritual parent has to learn to relinquish control. A title won’t make you a leader, only real heartfelt love and compassion will. Many times I have had to watch those that we mentor make some wrong decisions but it’s not my place to tell them they’re wrong. It’s my responsibility to pray for them and know that the Lord is using even those wrong decisions as a part of a process to shape them into who they’re called to be.
A few years ago, a friend of mine, looked at a young woman on our ministry team and told her she was a young prophet. In addition, he said I was called to mentor her. I was not amused at all and thought he told her this prematurely. But he was a mentor to me and so I remained quiet. However, later that day I said, “Okay, God….she doesn’t look like a prophet to me but if You say she is than she is!” That night, I dreamt that I was soaring across the oceans under these great wings. As I looked down, there was this young woman being carried also by these great wings. There was so much joy and excitement in her face as we gazed at each other. Then she became like an infant and I held her in my arms. As I woke up an Angel of the Lord shined so brightly in my bedroom that the light penetrated even my furniture. I was paralyzed by the fear of the Lord. Needless to say, there were no more questions as to whether she was a young prophet.
Later, He gave me firm instruction regarding her. He showed me that she was like a young tree. He showed me a straight board beside that young tree and pieces of cloth tied around them both to keep the tree straight. And yet at the same time the cloth could stretch and move…..it wasn’t rigid. If each relationship with Jesus is as unique as a snowflake or a fingerprint then a true spiritual parent is going to give the child (who we are mentoring) room to be who they’re called to be.
When we became new parents, one piece of advice we received was to crawl through the house so that we could see things from a baby’s perspective. So I have to ask myself, “As spiritual parents, why do we suddenly want those under us to conform to our ways once they get older? Why is it that we suddenly stop looking at things from their perspective?” For example, one week we had approximately twenty-two teenagers at our Friday night service. Our services are in this 33,000 square foot coffee house, so there can potentially be a lot of commotion. Although I know God is not the author of confusion, I also know He is not confused by several things going on at the same time. I, however, can be distracted or confused. So needless to say, as the teens seemed to be doing their own thing, I was not real happy. As I sought the Lord after that night, my first inclination was to make them conform or participate in what we as adults were doing. However, the Father reminded me that Troy and I ministered in the streets when we got started in ministry and it was time to use that training again. It was time to infiltrate these groups of young people, build relationships and teach others in the Body of Christ, how to do the same. In addition, as spiritual parents, we can’t just ask our ministry team to do it, we have to lead by example. It time to look to look at things from a new perspective.
Here’s what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that real unity doesn’t come from a sense of control, but rather through community. And real community doesn’t happen by incorporating a bunch of church programs, which is fleshly. It only occurs through real relationship. If we start something without possessing the real heart of a spiritual mother or father….then congratulations, all we have is another program. The truth is, we can put any label we want on it and say it’s a new revolutionary idea. But like Joyce Meyers always says, “The proof is in the pudding.” If I don’t see lives changing almost supernaturally before my very eyes, then I’ve missed it somewhere. Perhaps that’s when I reevaluate my relationship with my Heavenly Daddy.
Father, I pray for more spiritual mothers and fathers. I pray that You will raise up a people whose heart is only to see others succeed in their walk with You. Father, in a society where so many kids do not have relationships with their earthly parents help us to reach out to them. Father, let there be healing for those of us who do not have genuine relationships with our parents. Father, help us to love like You love.