Andrea’s Journal

Today I really felt compelled to write about pride because it is something we frequently encounter within the body of Christ. I have learned that when someone is suffering from a spirit of pride that there is nothing I can say to reveal this, only God can. Satan himself was in the presence of God and fell from pride! So if you think you can’t be deceived maybe you already are. I myself know what it’s like to be deceived.

For example, I remember when Troy and I were writing this article about spiritual warfare. During that time we were visiting a home and God had warned us through a dream about the demonic that were there. Based on the warning, Troy suggested that this time I should fast and pray. I arrogantly said that I already walked in authority. Talk about pride! Well when let’s just say I couldn’t move for three days. It was a hard lesson but one that needed to be learned.

Pride says “No one else has been through, what I’ve been through.” When we say that in essence we’ve elevated ourselves, our past and our circumstances above God. After all Jesus Christ walked the earth as a man and was crucified! I think He definitely understands.

Here’s a point that might sting a little. Pride looks at leadership and says, “I can do it better.” Back that train up. Until one has actually been in a place of leadership they really have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s almost like the men that approached Moses and reminded him that they heard from God too, even though Moses was speaking with God face to face. Needless to say, those men didn’t fare so well.

Pride thinks they have nothing to learn, they’ve heard everything. Joyce Meyers says, “The proof is in the pudding!” You may have heard everything but if you’re life doesn’t reflect it, you don’t get it. Besides the goal is remain teachable for the rest of our lives.

Pride looks at someone else and thinks they can do the same thing. They don’t realize that each person brings something unique to the Kingdom of God. In the world we strive to be like others, looking for role models who represent what it is to be successful. But in the Kingdom, you can only be you. God has placed something deep within your spirit and He has a plan for your life, that only you can fulfill! That is great news!

Pride is exactly the opposite of love. Love rejoices with the truth and always hopes. Real love gets all excited when God moves in someone’s life. Whereas pride secretly delights in the thought of someone else’s failure.

Pride makes a person talk incessantly to build themselves up whereas real love makes a person want to build someone else up.

Pride usually looks at everyone else’s faults but not their own. Has your pastor ever delivered a strong word and you said to yourself, “Well, so and so really needed to hear that.” I know because I’ve thought it a few times. That is pride!

God  you know that I have at different times in my walk done many of these same things. How embarrassing it is to look back on it. Will you please forgive me?  Father will you bring it to my attention should I start to go down that path again?  Where would I be today, if You had not been in my life?  I love you, Adonai.

I haven’t journaled for awhile. I don’t really know how to write what I’m feeling because there seems to be so much. Where do I even start? As the school year draws to an end, Troy and I have finally reached the time where we will step out in faith. I feel such a wide array of emotions. Part of me dreams about the plans and purposes that He has for our lives. But to be honest I have felt a great loneliness at times simply because it is so hard to convey the things that the Lord has deposited deep in both of our spirits. I have often wondered if I could leave everything and follow Him. Many times I said we would follow Him anywhere without really understanding what that looked like. But today I feel the weight of His calling. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who have relentlessly pursued Him, following Jesus all over the United States and overseas—know that your faith has inspired me. I have friends who have recently been called to chase Him—how my heart greatly rejoices with you.

When I have thought of following Him, there were moments when I became preoccupied with where we would go. But I remembered that although we live here in the natural, we do not dwell here. I have been reading Psalm 84, thinking about the dwelling place of the Lord. The house of the Lord is not just a place for us when we leave this earth but a place where we can wait upon Him while we’re here.

As I worshipped Jesus yesterday I entered a place with white floors and walls. In the southern wall, there was a large opening with gauzy curtains blowing from a dry wind that passed through them. As I looked out it seemed as if my eyes could see desert flanked by forest and an ocean to the West. I saw myself soaring through these places knowing that I had a place to reside in the Lord’s house. There is freedom in knowing this. It’s a place of stillness and peace. It’s a place of refreshing when I am weary. It’s a place where God’s vision consumes me and I can know that I am His beloved. O Lord, better is a day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere!

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools. [b]
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
Look upon our shield, [c] O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Yesterday my oldest daughter woke up crying because her neck was hurting. Earlier that day she had fallen at school so hard that it knocked the air out of her and bruised her legs. So when she began to cry the next morning, I said, “Let’s pray.” I shared the times that I had injured my neck and God took away the pain. I was so grateful.

We began to pray and my daughter said in part of her neck the pain was gone. So we prayed again and more of the pain was taken away until all she felt was a, “small pinch.” I laughed and said, “When are you going to start realizing that you are the daughter of the King! You are the daughter of the King.” I asked her to think about that while she was at school. Since she’s growing up, I didn’t really know if she would listen to her mom.

However when I picked her up from school, I was so surprised when she said, “Mom I thought about what you said today.” She said she realized how much God cared about her and that He would not let anything happen to her. Thanks Father for revealing Yourself to my little girl.

Last night when I went to church we spent the evening in prayer. Even before my pastor said, “Let’s pray,” I began to see visions so clearly that my environment began to disappear. Wow, I couldn’t wait to spend that time with Him.

In one vision He showed me a small girl walking along the shoreline. She was looking down as her feet were engulfed by the crashing waves. I asked the Lord what this meant, He showed me yet another picture.

In the second vision He showed me another young child. She was more formally dressed and dancing. I heard the Lord say it is a dance she has LEARNED.

Then again He shows me the first child walking by the shoreline. The waves are rushing up against her feet and the water looks almost milky from the sand mixing with it. The Lord said to me, “You may not even be able to see where you are walking as the waves will cover your feet and the ground beneath them will shift.”

The small child continues to walk along the shoreline with the wind blowing in her hair. She appears to be so joyfully focused on the One who is walking in front of her; who is Jesus.

Many times I have found that when I share a vision is that it speaks to each individual’s heart differently. I love how God does that! That is exactly what it’s supposed to do, so I like to sit back and just listen. One gentleman said that the sand represented the world which is temporal while another said the water represented the Spirit or walking in the Spirit. Very true. The woman sitting beside me said that the girl that was doing the dance that was learned, represented the person that was playing it safe. While the second child represented the person who is actually stepping out.

Many times I talk with christians who have knowledge of the Word but no deep revelation of it; it’s so mechanical—so learned, so religious. But when there is revelation, it brings about such a change in a person. When the Lord shares something with me, His word takes on a new depth. It’s like watching a movie verses watching a movie at an IMAX theater. His Word becomes visible, tangible….living! Everything about Jesus consumes me and I find myself joyfully following Him.