Andrea’s Journal

Remember how as kids we always wondered what it would be like to fly?  Well, I have been having many dreams of flying.  I used to feel apprehensive as I flew higher in the dream but now it is so cool.  Anyways last night I had a dream that I was flying all over the world.  Then all of the sudden in the dream, this woman and her friend are in the sky with me.  I remember her talking to me with a southern accent and thinking how strange it was that she was in the air, too.  But all of a sudden, she takes my arm and we began to soar through the air at astonishing speed—I was unafraid.  It was so astonishing that I realized the she and the person with  her were divine beings. There was a big city to my right,  with many lights that illuminated the night, but she took me away from it.  I’m wondering what city it was. Ultimately, I saw the friend that I was “flying” with, heading towards a wall and I could not just leave that person alone.  So without question, they took me back to get my friend.

Then I heard a popping sound come from my room, as I was sleeping and woke up.  So I’m wondering, should I have gone back to get my friend or should I have seen where they would take me? I wonder if my friend in the dream, is really that person or symbolic of a  situation that I’m revisiting? Again, what was the name of the city they were steering me away from?  Yeah, I know some dreams are just dreams but you can just “feel” it when some of the components of the dream, are from God. Wow, now I would like to return to that dream.

Since I’ve been saved God has always given me dreams using vehicles. For example a few years ago, I was having dreams where I would get into any vehicle and it would spiral backwards. That’s because at that time in my life, my ambition had put my life on a detour with God. When I repented and pressed into Him, the dreams stopped. Since then I have always had dreams, with vehicles, that show where I am in my walk. Vehicles usually represent ministries.

Well, last night I have a dream where I’m in a car, that’s moving very fast. I keep trying to turn but cannot because I’m going so fast. Throughout the night, as I continued to dream, there is revelation that the car dream is indeed from God and that I’ve had this same dream multiple times.  I began asking, “Is He saying that I am trying to drive to fast? Or is He telling me to stop trying to turn?” In my dream, as I’m talking it out with characters in the dream, I realized that He was telling me to stop trying to turn. When I woke up I thought about how I couldn’t see what was in front of me when I was in that car. I was too busy looking out to the right side of the car. It didn’t seem like I was driving fast, but that the car was moving very fast by itself. Ugh! So Jesus, here’s the question, “What am I so busy looking at that I can’t see the road ahead?” Help me to stay focused on You, Father.

The other morning I was talking to someone who was having marital issues.  The person said that their worst fear was that their family would not be healed.  My comment was that he would be free from that fear when he realized if he lost everything, he still had God.  Obviously, God loves families and it’s His heart to see relationships heal but ultimately He needs to be first in our hearts—then everything else falls into place.

Well, in saying that I realize that I am faced with a very similar situation.  Here I am, so ready to move on with what God has planned for us and yet we have been unable to sell our house.  Now I am really not stressed over this because I know it’s in God’s perfect timing.  Although there are times that I’m faced with thoughts like, “What if nothing happens? What if God doesn’t use me?”  So can I take my own advice?  Can I resolve in my spirit that if nothing awesome happens in my life,  as long as I have Him then I am complete?  I want to have the mentality that if the world was ending today, I would just say, “Praise God, You’re here beside me.”  I wouldn’t be thinking about the future in that moment!

I guess I need to take my own advice.  To be honest, it’s a struggle for me because I really feel complete when I’m out in the harvest.  It’s so cool to see the power of the Lord touch, heal and deliver people.  And God wants that, but He has to be completely first in my heart so that the glory is all His.  My passion for Him has to surpass my passion for ministry!

Jesus…..help me today.  Help me to feel the way I did when we first met. It was like I was in love for the first time. I want to rekindle that with You. You are my first love.

(As I sat here writing this, the person I wrote about initially, called me to say how God is “wooing” him into a deeper relationship today.  God is so cool!)

On August 13 at 5:00 a.m. I woke up feeling a lot of anxiety about our finances. In particular, I was stressing out over health insurance. Troy and I have always had jobs with great benefits until now. All I could do was toss and turn, as I was pondering our options.

Within that moment, I felt the presence of God. Although He was trying to speak to me, I didn’t hear a word. Finally I said, “God, you don’t understand…I’m trying to be a parent!” For awhile there was a pause but then the Lord firmly said, “Andrea, I’m trying to be a parent too!” Whoa! Here I am, with every ounce of my being, wanting to do all that I can for my children and God is saying with all that He is, He wants to take care of His children.

The Lord continued to speak to me. He reminded me of mighty women of God who tirelessly spent hours on their knees in prayer, releasing the power of God into the natural. He reminded me that the urgency of their prayers came from a place of lack, not from a place of plenty. You see, when you think you have everything, there’s not the same urgency to bow to the ground and cry out to God.

I came to the realization that I always have a backup plan. That’s just who I’ve been. I grew up seeing my parents struggle and I was determined not to struggle in the same way. There’s nothing wrong with being that way unless it becomes an idol in your life— and for me, it did.

God just wants to be my Father. He already is, but He wants me to totally rely on Him, too. Adonai, this my desire as well.

Last night I had a dream. In the dream, I was walking through the streets of a town at night. The streets seemed like they were wet because I could see street lights being reflected off of them. It was late because all of the businesses appeared to be closed. I remember that there were other people walking the streets, as if they were homeless. There was an old woman walking beside me, and immediately I noticed her cold, weathered looking hands. I remember taking her hands and putting them inside my gloves along with my hands to warm them up. Then she and I, without speaking a word, walked those cold, dark streets together. When I reached my destination, I gave her my gloves. I’ll admit, that I hesitated because I wondered if they were my favorite leather gloves but the ones I was wearing were not my own—so I just gave them away.

My favorite part of that dream was just walking with that woman, if only to keep her hands warm. Everything that we possess belongs to the Lord, it is not ours to keep but rather our privilege to give it away. Sadly though, very few people walked those dark streets.
Here’s the unusual ending to the dream. I walk into a building, after I depart from the woman and feel nauseated by what I see. Inside the building there is a surplus of everything…..so much so that it seems gluttonous. I could see clothes, shoes and for some reason some boxed donuts were thrown to me. It wasn’t like the people there were giving it away, it was like they were reveling in it. One person actually seemed like they were just laying on mounds of this “stuff.” Disgusting. Is this a commentary on our society? Worse yet….is it a commentary on some churches in this country?

Father, please, I want to be like the one walking with the old woman in the streets.