Andrea’s Journal

The holidays are a time when we get together with extended family. Will I sound like less of a Christian if I’m totally truthful? Don’t you love it when they remind you of many of your shortcomings prior to finding Jesus? Yeah, I know our battle is not with the person but the spirit that is behind those negative comments. (Ephesians 6:12) However, that doesn’t mean that the words are any less hurtful. (I think I blogged about this last year, too.) It also doesn’t mean that I should retaliate by stooping down to the same level. I’d rather pursue God. This year, I have to admit, that I felt a lot more peace. Prior to some of our out-of-town visits I told God, “Jesus, I know you can create peace in the midst of the storm. I also know You can just stop the storm, too. After all these years, please stop this storm.” Actually I have never prayed for victory because I think sometimes we just accept situations with our family. This year I prayed for victory! Another thing I try to remember is that while I cannot control how others behave, I can control how I react.

Still, it’s so good to be home.

I had a hard time deciding if I wanted to blog about something I received on Christmas Day. Let me explain. Have you ever looked at something that you’d like to have but it’s ridiculously expensive and so you think, maybe someday? Something that you just can’t justify spending on yourself because it’s just frivolous?

For Christmas, Troy and I still bought our daughters presents, like we always do. In addition, Redeeming Passion Ministry provided Christmas for several families and raffled off a Harley Davidson motorcycle! However, Troy and I, in the midst of giving cared very little if we received anything for ourselves…..perhaps we’d shop after Christmas.

On Christmas Day, we watched our daughters tear through all their presents. They played with their new toys all day and we enjoyed just being with our kids, at home. Troy had gone to exercise in the gym later that evening. When he got home I was putting the kids to bed. Troy said, “Andrea check your stocking, there’s a gift for you.” I was just thinking, it was chocolate or something because I am a serious chocolate lover. But when I took the gift out from the stocking, I began to cry. Here’s what makes the story so interesting.

While Troy was at the gym, God told him to stop on the way home to wish a certain man “Merry Christmas.” So Troy obeyed and stopped to visit the man. The man handed Troy this gift and told him to give it to me for Christmas. Troy explained that he couldn’t receive it because we couldn’t afford so lavish a gift. The man looked at him…..said it was a gift…..and that he just enjoyed seeing Troy’s face as he gave it to him. The man talked about King David in the Bible giving abundantly which was an interesting coincidence because we had been talking about wanting to be like King David and giving lavishly in our community.

So all I could do was cry and say, “I can’t receive this…..I don’t deserve this….I still make so many mistakes! Why would God bless me in this way? Why?” So lavish was this gift that I hesitated even telling anyone. I mean, there is so much need in my community—how could I justify keeping it? It’s funny how now that my heart doesn’t desire the things of this world, God just blessed me with such a treasure. I’ve shared this with a couple of people and the tears begin to fall. It’s not the gift in itself that blesses me, it’s the fact God would do something like this. I can’t wrap my mind around the love He has shown me, I am so unworthy of Him. And yet He loves me anyway.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matt 7:11

I know God owns the cattle on a thousand hills but I am utterly speechless.

Yes, it’s that time of year when I’m up late and wrapping my daughters’ Christmas presents. This is very exciting for my kids because they still try to guess what’s underneath the wrapping paper. Troy watched me for a few minutes, then decided sleeping sounded a lot more enjoyable. Anyways, I have to say that giving is the best part about the holidays! Troy and I loved Christmas before we had kids but now that we have them, it’s even better.

We’ll be spending the holidays with our family and extended family—here’s wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Early Monday morning, I had a dream. In the dream I could see a group of people, in a car. They spoke of a place where their dreams would become a reality (makes me think of that show, Fantasy Island). They were driving on a coastline, so the ocean was to their left and there was a heavily wooded area to their right. All at once, a light shined in and around the car. It was as if I was a spectator, standing outside of the car—I could see their faces light up. In the dream, I could see this group of people were now out of the car. Suddenly, there were massive, dark clouds that seemed to gallop across the ground, enveloping anyone or anything in their path. (Psalm 97:1-3)  The sheer size of the clouds and the speed in which they moved were fearsome. And yet, it was a reverential fear. I could see bright flashes of light coming from beneath the clouds. The people fell to the ground, their bodies rolling in the same direction, as the clouds quickly approached them. It reminded me of the cloud that was described in Exodus 20:

18All the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood at a distance.
19Then they said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but let not God speak to us, or we will die
20Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you may not sin.”
21So the people stood at a distance, while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was. (NASB)

At one point, we were all in the ocean and as I looked up at these thick, dark clouds. They began to take on the form of fingers. It was as if a large hand was guiding us across the water. I vaguely remember that I went back to the shore for something and then plunged back into the water. My daughters were in my arms, as I navigated the ocean with the others. There was no fear of sinking—just a confidence that His hand was upon me. Surprisingly, there was a enormous amphitheatre to the left, in the midst of the water. Then the dream ended.

Will we be crossing the ocean in the future? Who knows, Troy and I are just living in today. For me, there was such a strong sense of trust in this dream. I had a dream regarding the ocean several months ago, but I was thrust in. This time I relinquished all the doubts there could’ve been and just trusted. I didn’t know where we were going, how deep the water was or who the other people even were! All I could do was be still and watch God move.

This week and last week I have been contacting families who are in need to see how Redeeming Passion can help during the holidays. One woman I spoke with almost began to cry when she received the phone call…..it made me want to cry too.  She said she’d been praying—thank you God for hearing prayers.