During the summer of 2005, I was lying in bed in the early morning hours when suddenly I heard an angelic voice whisper sweetly into my ear the word, “mother.” I remember feeling a deep sense of the Father’s peace and love upon hearing it. I nestled deep into my pillow and fell into a deep sleep. Later that week, Troy had returned from hearing a gentleman talk about spiritual mothers and fathers, so naturally I thought perhaps that’s what God was referring to. Today I realize that I knew nothing about being a spiritual parent back then, but rather it was God, calling that which He had placed in me, into existence. How wonderful He is not to have pointed out my numerous faults, when He so easily could have. Instead, it was as if He was standing in my future and encouraging me to rise up into the position of spiritual motherhood.
There is so much that has happened that led Troy and I, to who we are today. By the way, we have a long way to go! First of all Troy and I were so blessed when God surrounded us with other believers who encouraged us, genuinely rejoiced with us and looked at us as co-laborers in the harvest, not competitors. We are blessed by a loving but unapologetically blunt spiritual mom. Two years ago, we were so blessed when God gave us eight people (some of them we barely knew), to lead, nurture and mentor. I learned that just because I had a title of a leader, it didn’t make me a leader and it definitely didn’t make me a spiritual parent. What I’ve noticed is although we are required to submit to the authority that God has placed over us, folks have a tendency to be drawn to the leaders that they know have their best interest at heart. That doesn’t mean looking for someone who agrees with you all the time. Personally, I’m looking for someone who loves me enough to let God have His perfect will in me, which means a spiritual parent has to learn to relinquish control. A title won’t make you a leader, only real heartfelt love and compassion will. Many times I have had to watch those that we mentor make some wrong decisions but it’s not my place to tell them they’re wrong. It’s my responsibility to pray for them and know that the Lord is using even those wrong decisions as a part of a process to shape them into who they’re called to be.
A few years ago, a friend of mine, looked at a young woman on our ministry team and told her she was a young prophet. In addition, he said I was called to mentor her. I was not amused at all and thought he told her this prematurely. But he was a mentor to me and so I remained quiet. However, later that day I said, “Okay, God….she doesn’t look like a prophet to me but if You say she is than she is!” That night, I dreamt that I was soaring across the oceans under these great wings. As I looked down, there was this young woman being carried also by these great wings. There was so much joy and excitement in her face as we gazed at each other. Then she became like an infant and I held her in my arms. As I woke up an Angel of the Lord shined so brightly in my bedroom that the light penetrated even my furniture. I was paralyzed by the fear of the Lord. Needless to say, there were no more questions as to whether she was a young prophet.
Later, He gave me firm instruction regarding her. He showed me that she was like a young tree. He showed me a straight board beside that young tree and pieces of cloth tied around them both to keep the tree straight. And yet at the same time the cloth could stretch and move…..it wasn’t rigid. If each relationship with Jesus is as unique as a snowflake or a fingerprint then a true spiritual parent is going to give the child (who we are mentoring) room to be who they’re called to be.
When we became new parents, one piece of advice we received was to crawl through the house so that we could see things from a baby’s perspective. So I have to ask myself, “As spiritual parents, why do we suddenly want those under us to conform to our ways once they get older? Why is it that we suddenly stop looking at things from their perspective?” For example, one week we had approximately twenty-two teenagers at our Friday night service. Our services are in this 33,000 square foot coffee house, so there can potentially be a lot of commotion. Although I know God is not the author of confusion, I also know He is not confused by several things going on at the same time. I, however, can be distracted or confused. So needless to say, as the teens seemed to be doing their own thing, I was not real happy. As I sought the Lord after that night, my first inclination was to make them conform or participate in what we as adults were doing. However, the Father reminded me that Troy and I ministered in the streets when we got started in ministry and it was time to use that training again. It was time to infiltrate these groups of young people, build relationships and teach others in the Body of Christ, how to do the same. In addition, as spiritual parents, we can’t just ask our ministry team to do it, we have to lead by example. It time to look to look at things from a new perspective.
Here’s what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that real unity doesn’t come from a sense of control, but rather through community. And real community doesn’t happen by incorporating a bunch of church programs, which is fleshly. It only occurs through real relationship. If we start something without possessing the real heart of a spiritual mother or father….then congratulations, all we have is another program. The truth is, we can put any label we want on it and say it’s a new revolutionary idea. But like Joyce Meyers always says, “The proof is in the pudding.” If I don’t see lives changing almost supernaturally before my very eyes, then I’ve missed it somewhere. Perhaps that’s when I reevaluate my relationship with my Heavenly Daddy.
Father, I pray for more spiritual mothers and fathers. I pray that You will raise up a people whose heart is only to see others succeed in their walk with You. Father, in a society where so many kids do not have relationships with their earthly parents help us to reach out to them. Father, let there be healing for those of us who do not have genuine relationships with our parents. Father, help us to love like You love.